Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Follow Files: Episode 3

In this episode of the Follow Files I take a stab at answering some of the more provocative questions from ATP and WTA Pros.
===The Twitterverse

1. "Don't you think we look a bit alike?" asks Andrea Petkovic of Germany, referring to the picture above.

-- Well, now that you mention it, in a weird way, yes. I'm sure John Isner would say no, because he's enamored and obsequious, but for me -- the unbiased tennis journalist -- it's different. I have to call a spade a spade out here in the trenches, and the fact of the matter is that, from the perspective that this picture was taken, you both appear to have necks that are of above average length. Therefore I conclude that you and that camel do look a bit alike, but I'm sure you're a much much better dancer.

2. "Who should I s/o for #FF," tweets Serena Williams of the U.S.A.

-- Um, well, you should "s/o" whomever you feel will help you promote whatever it is that you are currently promoting. I don't recommend "s/o'ing" all the people who are currently ranked higher than you in the much maligned WTA rankings -- because that would take a while -- but you can do that if you want to as well.

Serena, who are you kidding anyway? You are asking the question, but you're gonna "s/o" whoever the heck you want whenever the heck you want, and that's what we all love about you anyway.

Just don't forget to "s/o" yourself when you finally return to the tour!

3. "What is more important to follow your heart or head.....?" writes Michaella Krajicek of The Netherlands.

-- I think there are a lot of different ways to approach this one. I'd say that in general it's best to follow the lighter of the two. By light I mean figuratively light. Thus, if you're heart is heavy because your cat threw up and you don't know why, or you're ankle is stiff and you fear it might get better before it gets worse, I'd say follow your head. In other words, I'd recommend a structured and analytical approach to the problems you are facing. Keep both hands on the wheel and realize that better days are sure to come.

If, on the other hand, your head is heavy from drinking too much champagne at breakfast, I'd recommend following your heart. Don't let the throbbing get in the way of the fact that you want to dance, or hit forehands for hours, or sprint on the beach and tackle a group of children who are flying a kite. You're on this planet for a reason, after all.

4. "Is it bad that I have exact change ready for my Chipotle before I've ordered it?" writes Rajeev Ram of the U.S.A.

-- I think it is actually quite admirable to have exact change ready at Chipotle before you've ordered it for myriad reasons. First, there is probably a queue of tennis players behind you, and it is best to keep the line moving in order to facilitate the practice schedules and dietary needs of each. Second, the exercise of knowing the price, including sales tax, proves that you are either a creature of habit (these creatures find success in tennis) or very good at calculating state or country sales tax (math is sexy). So, don't feel any shame about this Rajeev. Be young, have fun, and eat Chipotle.

5. "Do you actually laugh out loud when you write LOL?" writes Ivo Karlovic of Croatia

-- Actually, Dr. Ivo, writing that phrase is one of those weird things that I simply can't seem to bring myself to do. Sure, if I am quoting you, fine, but if I am creating original content, and trying to bring a crowd of discerning tennis readers to the edge of their seats, I think it is better to avoid brutally overused clich├ęs such as this.

3 comments:

  1. Sorry, I'm not in the know so what is "s/o"?

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  2. Zoe: I assumed it was a "shout out" and went with it...but Serena might be the only one with the ability to answer that question.

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  3. Bet Petko doesn't smell as bad as a camel....

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